Definition of Spoiled here👇🏾

verb (used with object), spoiled or spoilt, spoil·ing.
to damage severely or harm (something), especially with reference to its excellence, value, usefulness, etc.:
The water stain spoiled the painting. Drought spoiled the corn crop.
to diminish or impair the quality of; affect detrimentally:
Bad weather spoiled their vacation.
to impair, damage, or harm the character or nature of (someone) by unwise treatment, excessive indulgence, etc.:
to spoil a child by pampering him.

Spoiled (www.dictionary.com.) It always bothers me when people whine and think that they are royalty, too good for anyone’s expectations.

This bothers me in friendships. It bothers me in parents, especially if I’m partnering with that parent. It bothers me when I see it in my children.

My daughter tells me that she’s not my slave…if I ask her to pick up her room. My son pushes out his bottom lip and gives me dead eyes…when I tell him to 😲 pack chips and snack bags….for his own lunch 😒 🤦🏽‍♀️ Dead eyes are malevolent. Clueless eyes threaten your sanity and make you wonder: Are they actually ignorant? Or, this another passive-aggressive strategy?

Parents thinking they deserve medals for doing household chores or for caring for their own kids… Kids wondering why work should be tied together with payment… 🤷🏽‍♀️ People who wonder why they have to be a part of cleaning a home in order for it to be clean – all of these situations are like asking for a bath and crying about the water that defines it.

My oldest is only motivated by what she wants right now. She hears what she wants to hear and tries to wheedle you until you come into line with her desires. When she thinks of her new baby sister (coming to our family soon), for instance, she considers how she may be able to join us for “baby shopping” – in hopes that she’ll be able to draft on our “new baby goodwill”…and get new things for herself 🙄 It’s actually pretty disappointing to hear, even if it’s normal.

If she can’t play according to the parameters she would ideally set – with the people she wants to play with and where she would rather play (read: not where her parents have declared she may play) – my oldest would prefer to skip the heat and late spring beauty outside; in a silent tantrum, she will trade in her outdoor shorts and tee for her pajamas and LEGO table.

On Facebook, there was a post (I didn’t read it) about old school parental sayings: “Because I said so,” was surely in there somewhere. Like the good tracks on a CD (also old school) – either early on the disc or, at the very end, “Because I said so,” is an essential parental reasoning resource! But as they get older, my kids really don’t like it. So? I don’t like their whining or loud complaints: “She’s touching me!” and all the other things kids say. Oh well 😔 Looks like we both – kids and moms and dads – will have to find ways to suffer through.

What I’m able to see when I look away from my kids’ displays to see myself is that: I have an issue with letting them take responsibility and allowing them to grow up. I have to let them help, if I want them to be helpers. I have to let them try out their skills, if I want them to be capable. In other words, I have to let them practice (as awkward as that may look and as painful as it is for my uptight self) being the people God made them to be!