Thought for a Cloudy Day

Someone close to me said she thought – in the wake of my Emergency C-section – I was probably feeling very reflective, which was true; but, being reflective is not situational for me. That is, unless that means: I’m reflective about every situation.

Yes, the C-section makes me see things through the fog of gratitude: When we’re driving down the middle of the city, I don’t see individual stores and wonder what groceries we need… Or note the movie theater and think about seeing the most recent movie. 

Nope. I’m just rolling down the window and breathing in the warm, late summer air. The buildings are a pleasantly familiar blur against the blue sky horizon. Because situations have forced everything into focus and filled my hands with the actually important things. All the other things have been forced out of focus by hardship, gratitude, and the realization that God has indeed been answering our prayers – even as the sun was hidden behind the clouds. As our expectations proved to be useless and fantastic…

The older I get, the more I see and fear death. That song keeps playing in my head – the one about looking back and realizing 🎵 these are the good old days 🎶 ..? Have you heard it?

Even if you haven’t, people are getting old. They’re getting sick. Their beautiful expectations are being bulldozed down to a pile of scary prognoses and prescription drugs. Nevertheless, the best is not in the rear view for me and mine – as Believers in the name of Jesus Christ, who have been made spiritually alive and free by God’s grace.

No, the future is where heaven and unadulterated connection with God on every level exists.

If this right here was As Good As It Gets…what a sad joke that would be. No amount of living for the moment and hedonism would be able to stand against the fallen and broken nature of this part of life, of this side of heaven.

In the midst of big emotions and fallen reality… Where you find yourself at the edge of dark, thunderous water and your fears feel like fate, God will meet you and be your refuge. As the devil stabs down toward you like rare meat on a plate, he will miss…as you are hidden.

Our souls tell us that we’re going down when we’re up against it – when we look around and see wreckage with our eyes. But our spirits know: God is everything, the only real thing. It’s not that what our souls see and what we know in the Spirit share space within us peacefully. No, there’s very real conflict. And God is okay with the earthquakes this dissonance causes inside us, where doubt and anger and depression and regret rise up through the fault lines.

But like that line out of Mission Impossible, God is the storm – not the cause of the rain, but the only One with authority to still it.